MASTURBATORY DYSFUNCTION - CLUELESS CRUSH: A COLLECTION OF LOVE SONGS TO MAKE OUT TO - 2XCD
ALTAR OF WASTE/AOW400
HARSH NOISE WALL/HARSH NOISE
TWO PRO-PRESSED CDRS HOUSED IN A DVD
CASE. HAND NUMBERED ON BUSINESS CARDS
IN AN EDITION OF 50 COPIES.
MASTURBATORY DYSFUNCTION IS:
I.) FROM THE MOMENT I LAID MY EYES ON YOU /
II.) FOND FEELINGS / III.) UNDER HEATED SKIES /
IV.) SIZZLING SUNBATHE / V.) DON'T REJECT ME NOW /
VI.) DIRTY SKIN / VII.) LONG LAWN STROKES /
VIII.) TAKE ME TO THAT SPECIAL PLACE (ROOFTOP ACCESS):
MASTURBATORY DYSFUNCTION is a one woman Harsh Noise project
operating in the HARSH NOISE WALL genre. On her recent release
on Altar Of Waste (Arguably the best label when it comes to this
style) We have a great deal of strength and thought put in. Conceptionally
speaking this is an album themed around those special moments during puberty
where one transitions from horny teen to de-virginized adult. Everything from
the artwork and packaging (Which is always stellar when it come to the AOW label)
to the song titles and themes blends together to invoke nostalgia and the last few
days of "innocence." Musically speaking, there is a contrast that could be considerd
misleading in a way similar to that of THROBBING GRISTLE's "20 Jazz Funk Greats" as
to someone on the outside looking in, This is the last thing they'd expect to hear
on a cd that looks like an 80's Pop album. At the same time the various walls here
(12 in total spanning the two discs) could be seen as the overflow of welling teen
emotions. That moment when fantasy becomes a surreal reality and it's almost too
much to take. Each track is unique compared alongside the others and comes as a
raging blast of sound with the power of all those highschool hormones hitting at
once. From The Moment I Laid My Eyes On You" opens and engulfs us in a dense blast
of suffocating static. Like that moment you see someone you instantly "fall in love
with" and it takes your breath away. Textures and layers mix like a rush of feelings
and create HNW tracks that stand out from your average two pedal trendy. "Fond Feelings"
crashes upon us even harder than the previous piece. Here the distortion is cranked up
and crunching on us like a midnight snack. Roaring and raging like a teen girl during
her worst period. The tracks hang around just long enough to tear shit up but don't go
on forever. There are slight changes in the tonal mass and moments that are "softer"
than others. So it's not just the same sound recorded and looped. "Under Heated Skies"
is harsher on the high end of the spectrum. Here we hear shrill hissing tones over a
heavy bottom layer of overbearing density. Things seem to slow down after the first
initial blast and shift into a moody rhythmic sort of direction. Not to say this is
easy listening by any means as there is enough sonic violence here to kill a bull.
"Sizzling Sunbathe" is quite different from the rest and disgards most of the low
end. What sounds like air raid signals is heard buried in the mix as a hostile gust
of corrosive steam-like noise whistles through the speakers. There is an undercurrent
of deeper tones that produces a sense of movement but it is much further in the distance
when it comes to the mix. "Don't Reject Me Now" is a jagged tearing mass much like the
worry and fear that hits when you put yourself out there unsure if the one you've done
it for will share the same feelings. Gnawing noise to mirror the feelings of potential
embarrasment, Regret, Self loathing and shame you may soon be facing. This one is more
on the straight up Harsh Noise side of the spectrum and features howling gusts, Ripping
rhythms, Fragmented debris and crackling chaos. HNW purists may not dig it but it gives
the release something special. "Dirty Skin" comes in contrast as a blast of low roaring
sound. Rumbling like building thoughts ready to spill out after you've marinated in your
own self hatred for too long. An inferno in a furnace down a dingy hallway. The sound of
anger cooking into a fine roast of rage. This could also be taken as the festering passion
of an intimate act. A bubbling and frothing path to pleasure on the road to spasm of orgasm.
Sub-bass tones rise and carry you further into ecstasy as what sounds like crumbling rocks
falling and "wet tones" mimic the feeling of losing yourself in a chasm of lust and the rush
of endorphins that comes with it. "Long Lawn Strokes" is a soft caress of live wire electric
energy. Sparks fly as crackling surges ignite like your nervous system as you are touched for
the very first time. The intensity builds as if fingers are bravely crawling closer to the
button of your pants. Rhythmic addictions rock back and forth like bodies in motion and grind
like heavy breathing school kids in the heat of the moment and excitement that comes with the
danger of being caught. This is the HNW equivalent of a dime-store romance novel and I mean that
in the best of ways. "Take Me To That Special Place (Rooftop Access) keeps the humor and harshness flowing but in a more subdued way. Muffled and hidden sounds blare behind a resonant ringing as if to conceal a secret. Perhaps the "special place" is one few know of. The double meaning of access in the title is a nice touch and is mirrored by the duality present. The main focus of the listener remains on highs and lows for the most part which creates an interesting experience and a fine closer to disc one.
I.) THE COLOR RED / II.) ALMOST MINE /
III.) SUNDAYS / IV.) YOUR LIPS, YOUR SHRINE:
"The Color Red" shoves our heads down into a long form piece of ferocity. I like that the title is
open to interpretation. Red dress?, Lipstick?, Shoes?, The color of passion?, The splash across the
bed sheets as the cherry pops? Perhaps all or none of these were in mind. Regardless we are neck deep in an orgy of distortion so we'd might as well smile and enjoy the ride. The track absolutely assaults the listener. But you can't rape the willing and if you're listening to this album after reading this you knew what you were in for anyways. For an album with art depicting scenes that look like something you'd see on Saved By The Bell this is sure one hell of a listen. This track makes up the greater part of the cd but the following are just as powerful. "Almost Mine" sneaks in and switches things up a bit. Feedback and muffled bass tones blend with buried melodies to create what sounds like an extremely rough recording of a noisey live band mixed with a whole lot of aggression. Imagine trying to salvage a recording of a house show off of an old cassette tape that has been damaged by heat, Cold, And years of sitting in dust. Now imagine running the audio through several distortion pedals cranked up to ten and you'll have a bit of an idea of what this sounds like. "Sundays" is another low roaring number. Dull tones that pull you into the murky depths. Much like the lazy, Restless, Sloth like feelings most people experience on an average Sunday. Looped metallic ringing is heard hidden in the background as crawling static swarms the senses. A hectic mass of nothing and everything to devour your day away. "Your Lips, My Shrine" finishes us off with another dense wall of writhing sound. This one dwells closer to the bottom end and features low tones that moan on as what is most likely an illusion of cyclic rhythm is formed from a corroded heap of distorted static. Things die down at times it seems which adds an interesting sense of pacing to the track but this could all be a figment of the mind after being exposed to these kinds of sounds for this long. Either way, It's a cool release. Endure it til the end. Pain is pleasure.
Pleasure is pain.
MASTURBATORY DYSFUNCTION STANDS OUT IN THE GENRE. NOT AN EASY ACCOMPLISHMENT WITH
SO MANY ARTISTS JUMPING ON BOARD THE HNW BUS THESE DAYS. GET A COPY WHILE YOU CAN: